Flourishing After F*cking Up! Why Successful People Thrive after Face Planting

by | Coaching, Featured

As humans, we f*ck up, A LOT! It is just part of the homo sapiens experience.

It isn’t the failing that is the problem. It is our response in the aftermath that causes all the issues. Our reaction to our crash & burns and whether we give up or get up is truly the only thing that separates those who succeed and thrive in life from those who give up and don’t achieve their goals.

Failure, making mistakes, falling flat on our faces is all part of life. If we didn’t, we would never learn, grow, or evolve.

Instead of beating ourselves up after wiping out, what if we looked at our failures as opportunities.

  • An opportunity to gain experience, learn what didn’t work, and improve our future efforts.
  • An opportunity to build our resiliency and learn to pivot during times of adversity.
  • An opportunity to be tenacious by not letting the moment stop us from moving forward.
  • An opportunity to get back up one more time more than we fall down.

F*cking up isn’t the problem, but letting it get in your head and negatively affect how you are going to tackle future life challenges is.

Thoughts about failure are just that, thoughts. Thoughts themselves are neutral. It is only when we assign meaning to them that they become something that can build us up or tear us down.

You get to decide what you want to believe about your thoughts. And what meaning you decide to assign to each thought will affect all of your future feelings and actions.

So, let’s say I know someone who got laid off during COVID (me!). I could have chosen to perceive this circumstance as a personal failure and have thoughts like: “this sucks! The company didn’t think I was worth keeping, I must have done something wrong. I gave that company 8 years of my life and worked hard and this is the thanks that I get! Who will hire me now?”.

That was one way to think. But I chose another.

Instead, I chose to think, “well, this sucks, BUT I understand why I was let go. My job was the obvious choice to downsize, and from a business perspective it makes complete financial sense. It wasn’t personal, I know I was a great team member and was a valuable asset to the company. Hell, this is an excellent opportunity for me to pursue my real passion, coaching!”.

See the difference? Now don’t get me wrong, I did have moments when I was sad, even a bit angry, and maybe even scared about the uncertainty of finding a new job during a global pandemic.

But those thoughts were not going to serve me or bring my job back. They weren’t going to get me motivated to find new work. They were only destined to lead me down a dangerous woe is me pity party path.

The circumstances were not going to change, only how I decided to think, act, and feel about them were in my control. We can’t control the external circumstances in our lives, but when we learn to manage our minds and our internal drivers, we become the master of our destiny.

What thoughts about past failures are holding you back? Are you assigning unhelpful negative stories to situations that are keeping you stuck in life?

If you want to learn how to rewrite the old stories holding you back in life I can help.

Let’s connect! Schedule a free Breakthrough Session and learn if we are a good fit to work together to make sh!t happen!

Yes, you can!

~ Char


Charlene Zielin is a Success & Business Coach whose mission is to empower nurses to transform their passions into profitable businesses that provide innovative solutions and bring personal success, balance, fulfillment, joy, and financial freedom.