Why It’s so Hard to Actually Change Your Behavior

by | Coaching

6 Excuses People Give About Their Inability to Change

  1. I can’t change. I’ve always been this way.
  2. I don’t know how, I’m afraid of what I don’t know.
  3. I am too busy. I don’t have enough time.
  4. I’m not sure I am ready to do the work required to change.
  5. I don’t have the money.
  6. What if this is a pipedream and doesn’t work out?

The Cold Hard Truth

These are all excuses we make because we are afraid to change. Ever hear of the saying “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t”. Well, that saying is a big fat load of bullshit keeping you from attaining your audacious goals and living a life full of passion and purpose!

Change is scary. It puts us outside our comfort zone, creates uncertainty, and puts us into a position of vulnerability. It means we are taking a risk, a chance that we might fail, but what if we actually do succeed? What if?  

Stop Fearing Failure

Why are people so afraid of failure? Failure is the other wicked ‘F’ word in the English vocabulary. Being willing to fail means you are doing hard things, putting yourself out there, getting gritty. It is all in how you think about failure. If you only consider failure as a negative outcome, you are missing an enormous opportunity to succeed.

What if instead, you believed that your failures were a way forward? What if you saw those missteps as a chance to learn, grow, practice courage, develop resiliency, and become a bigger, better version of yourself? It is only when we are willing to fail that we can truly flourish.  

There is an old Chinese proverb that says, “Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” Everyone falls, but it is the individuals who refuse to get back up one more time that are true failures in life.

Do Hard Things-NOW!

If you are reading this, your life is likely not the one you want to be living. Maybe you are anxious, stressed, traumatized by some life experience. You are living each day on repeat, just getting by, hoping somehow things will miraculously just change themselves.  You have no joy, happiness, fun, drive, purpose, passion, or motivation. You my friend are stuck!

So, what is the solution? DO. HARD. THINGS.

Simple, but not easy. When we are scared to move forward, sometimes the only solution is to get into action. Do the thing that scares you, even if it means you don’t do it perfect. The motivation isn’t going to just be there, but once you get some momentum and discover that when you tried something completely outside of your comfort zone and didn’t die, you will slowly build the confidence to keep doing more hard things. Over time, each small thing builds on the next and will change your mindset about failure being the root of all evil.

Coaching-A Way to Make Sh!t Happen

How do you know if collaborating with a coach is the right solution to help you create the future of your dreams? Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you want to make a positive change in your life?
  • Are you open to changing your perspectives?
  • Are you looking for a new approach to help reach your goals?
  • Do you prefer to be guided towards a new approach rather than told?
  • Are you prepared to re-examine and shift some of your preconceptions?
  • Have you experienced a significant personal and/or professional change in the past year (i.e., career change, a relationship ending, promotion, change in the family structure)?
  • Has this change motivated you to examine some of your coping mechanisms and/or strategies for meeting your goals?
  • Are you feeling lost and/or unsure about the direction you want to go in?

Coaches help you to focus and find clarity of the mental blocks holding you back. They hold a safe, non-judgmental space and offer a fresh perspective to your thoughts, habits, and limiting beliefs. Coaches are able to show you connections you yourself can’t make between your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and results. They are your mentor, advocate, cheerleader and believe in you before you are ready to believe in yourself. They can show you what is possible. They will help you find what you truly want out of life, why you want it, and how you can achieve it. They will hold you accountable and help you keep your commitment to yourself through the journey.

You have tried to change on your own, and likely are reading this article because you are having trouble making it happen. Working 1:1 with a coach fully devoted to you and your process is transformational!

You have a decision. Stay the way you are or take a chance and do something for you. You have likely already wasted a bunch of time, energy, frustration, and money searching for solutions. Are you ready to change?

Let’s do hard things!

Yes, you can!


Charlene Zielin is a Success & Business Coach whose mission is to empower nurses to transform their passions into profitable businesses that provide innovative solutions and bring personal success, balance, fulfillment, joy, and financial freedom.